The most amazing thing happened to me today.
I got into a fight with one of my closest friends and so I was just upset. I turned my phone off, walked in the rain all the way to Varsity bus stop, stayed there through the pouring, then ended up taking the bus back to Bragaw and asking him to open his suite door so I could give myself some peace of mind and end this stupid fight/tension/whatever it was. He was at dinner with his trombone friends...that's okay. I haven't eaten dinner yet. Still haven't. I walked out...crushed, distraught, and just at the edge, knowing God closed this door but still asking how He could ease the pain, why there was no physical person there for me when I needed someone. I began to cry, crushed and alone, and walked past this girl carrying an umbrella.
"Hey, are you okay?"
I turned around, sniffing and saying I'm fine but she walked up to me and asked, "Are you sure? Can I help you with anything? Do you just want a hug?"
That was the question I've been waiting for for forever. "Do you just want a hug?"
I nodded and as soon as she put her arms around me, I started bawling. We stood there for a little bit before she offered to take me back to my dorm, sharing her umbrella and I ended up telling her everything that was on my heart and on my mind and everything that was hurting and bothering me. Well, she walked me back to Lee and it turned out she was a Christian too, and just before she left, she said, "well, take this as a sign that God loves you."
Gave me another hug, smiled, and said, "Merry Christmas!"
Her name is Kailey, a junior majoring in psychology here at State. God brought her here to help me right at the time I needed someone. He has once again proved that He will never leave me alone and is always, always watching over me.
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哭的時候沒人哄, 我學會了堅強; (There's no one to comfort me when I cry, I will learn courage)
怕的時候沒人陪, 我學會了勇敢; (There's no one with me when I'm scared, I will learn bravery)
煩的時候沒人問, 我學會了承受; (There's no one to ask me when I'm stressed, I will learn endurance)
累的時候沒人可以依靠, 我學會了自立... (There's no one to lean on when I'm tired, I will learn to stand on my own...)
就這樣我找到了自己, (This way I can find myself)
原來我很優秀, 更可貴的是，世界上, (I am important, I am blessed, in this world)
我只有一個, 只有一個我! (There is only one of me!)
漸漸地, 我成熟了, (Slowly, I mature)
知道了人是被逼出來的, (I know people grow by things pushed on them)
只有壓力才有動力, 因為沒有更大的不如意, (Only by pressure is there motivation, because there isn't any bigger unhappiness)
所以現在的不如意也是幸福的! (So all the unhappiness now is actually a blessing!)
想要成蝶的蛹就要破繭, (To be a butterfly you must be a cocoon)
想要重生的鳳凰就要蘗磐 (To be a reborn phoenix, you be cremated)
上面寫的全都是真的. 人會變, 而有一些變化是要逼出來的. 這幾個月我學會了很多. 我覺得我學會了多一點承受, 多一點堅強, 多一點勇敢. "現在的不如意也是幸福的"...好像英文有一首歌, 叫做 "Blessings In Disguise," 是滿好聽的一首歌. 可是要記得...累的時候, 沒有人依靠...還有神...可以自己站起來, 但是要靠神的力量. 我覺得我常常要自己一個人站起來, 但是同時我知道如果我沒有神的話我永遠不會有這種力量. 所以不可忘記常常禱告, 知道神很愛很愛你. 祂沒有說生命是容易的...只是說祂不會離開我們.
Everything written above is true. People change, and some changes have to be forced to be made. I've learned a lot over the past few months. I've learned a little bit more about endurance, a little bit more about courage, a little bit more about bravery. "All the unhappiness now is actually a blessing"...it's like a song called "Blessings in Disguise." It's a great song. But you have to remember...when you're tired and there's no one to lean on...there's always God...you can stand up on your own, but you have to rely on God's strength. I feel like I always have to stand by myself, but I know that without God's strength and power, I would never be able to. So don't forget to always pray and know that God loves you very much. He never said life would be easy...just that He will never leave us.
