"At what point do you walk away and trust God to take care of the rest?"

How many times have I tried answering that question and failing? I know God is all-powerful. He is all-knowing. Why is it so easy to trust Him with some loved ones, and so hard for others? When everyone else in the world is telling me to walk away, how can I? When everyone else has told me to stop caring, telling me that I would only end up hurting myself, how can I? How do I stop caring? How can my heart possibly not cave in every single time I look at them?

There is no longer anything tying us together. Any of us. I just want everyone to get along. I just want things to be normal again, I just want to understand. I'm trying to fix things, but it just seems like I'm making it worse...

I want to understand. I want to help. I want my heart to not crumple into pieces every time. I just want the big, happy family together again. Because that's what we were- a family.

Hans Zimmer's One Day is on replay right now because I just watched At World's End again; I think it may be my favorite installment of the Pirates series. But this time, when I watched it, I nearly cried at the end, with the scene between Will and Elizabeth. It's new; I've never cried at that before, not even close. But One Day has always been one of my favorite soundtrack pieces of all time since it first came out in theaters.

How do I write what is weighing on my heart now? How can I translate these feelings into words?

I suppose all I can say is that my heart is tender tonight. That I have fallen into pieces but picked up, over and over again these few hours. Always falling, but always being repaired. An endless cycle. Life continues like that, I think. So maybe, maybe I can cling onto the hope that one day, this will cycle back too. One day.