To be a lover is very broad concept. A lover of what? What is love? What does it entail? What are its dimensions, its length and width and volume? How much surface area does it cover? What to you need to do to love?

I was called out the other day for being scared of letting someone in.

Is that really such a bad thing? Is it terrible that I can get along so well with so many but have walls that are sky high? Is it terrible that I find it difficult to love someone in a life-changing way, to allow them to see the deepest and darkest recesses of my heart, mind, and soul? I'm not sure they'll like what they find in there. And even if I was to try to open up, my heart clamps up. I can't force it open to allow one person to know me as half of their whole.

Maybe I am scared after all...

Okay, I admit. I'm bloody terrified.

But my argument still stands. We aren't best friends, and trust doesn't work the way you think it works. Being half of a whole for the rest of my life seemed easier before because...the prospect of sharing your life, well...it would be so much easier if I shared it with my best friend.

You are not. I'm sorry. My heart aches for you, but that's all there is.

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I woke up this morning and a pang seized my heart. For the first time in a long time, I could dwell on the memory rooms in my heart.

I cried because I felt [your] absence.