Yeahhh, hello to you too. Didn't expect to see you at my door so soon!
So it's been another year. I could be nostalgic and say, "oh I remember where I was this time last year," but I already did that last night.
This year's new year was...different. So many things have happened this past year even I can barely believe it. 2011 has truly been an amazing and eye-opening year for me, and I've learned so much, especially the past three months or so. Just...so many changes. I feel almost sad waving goodbye to 2011 but then I guess I don't have a choice.
Soon after the clock struck 12, one of my closest friends here texted me about something that happened this morning, and said a lot of stuff that just made me so sad and hurt. I posted how I felt on gchat and then my other closest friend here just...
Well, I lost my best friend here on New Year's.
I went to visit some friends at their workplace today and I saw them...I came to an epiphany. Carl Cartee's Honestly kept replaying in my mind...
Honestly I need to be broken
And honestly I need to fall down
Go ahead and shake my foundation
'Cause honestly I'm figuring out
That of all that I have
All that I need is You
Honestly
Those words hit me so hard. I finally began to comprehend the meaning of broken down, the meaning of having my foundation shaken. It is not fun. It hurts, and it's horrible. I got back to my car and just sat there, listening to my Christian playlist on my itouch and crying, in front of God, pouring out all the hurt and thoughts to Him, finally surrendering. Addison Road's Hope Now played...You become my heart's desire/I will sing Your praises higher/'Cause Your love sets me free. He is faithful and just, and His will will never lead you where His grace cannot keep you. He has a plan for me, I know it. Jeremiah 29:11.
Miraculously, all the songs that played then on were about being strong in the Lord. Matt West's Strong Enough-
I know I'm not strong enough to be everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not strong enough
Hands of mercy won't You comfort me
Lord right now I'm asking You to be strong enough/
I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength
I don't have to be
Strong enough
Right after that came Tobymac's Get Back Up
Seems like you're fighting for your life but why, oh why
Wide awake in the middle of your nightmare
You saw it coming but it hit you out of nowhere
There's always scars
When you fall that far
You lose your way, you get back up again
It's never too late to get back up again
One day, you gon' shine again
You may be knocked down but not out forever/
This is Love callin', Love callin'
Out to the broken, this is Love callin'
Song ended just as I parked in my garage =) 2012 did not have a happy beginning, but it's what I make of it that counts. Like Po in Kung Fu Panda 2 =)
1 Corinthians 13
New Year's resolution:
To be a woman of God, loving on others and being a testimony to His love.