Oh yez. This year's is so late -.- I apologize.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAWN =)

You're 19 this year! Yay!
I still have your Christmas present sitting on my table...I feel like a fail for never actually having sent that to you. With that said, I also have Sahara's stuff which I haven't sent to her...
Man, I'm sorry x.x
Haha well let's see what's been going on the past calendar year. I feel like we've both grown so much =) just reflecting on where we were...I was just on the verge of breaking point...360 days ago, I was 5 days away from breaking up with Peter and you were there for me, all the while going through stuff with QiQi and her brother and Redeemer and loneliness and work and stuff...well, technically...your birthday was a month ago, but EHH it's around the same time period. Idk, I think that we've talked even less this year, but it wasn't terrible...like...you've been busy but I've still managed to salvage some sort of things about your life from sparse emails and lots of encouraging facebook posts =) I pray that this year God will continue to open your eyes to the things He has to teach you and continue to guide you in your walk with Him. I really just see you growing all the time and I can only pray that it stays that way =)

Okay. Time to be really mushy.
Looking back at the emails you've been sending me the past year, there were a few things that always, always stuck out to me:
1. Hey, you don't always have to be strong on your own. God's here, I'm here … we'll always be here. No one expects you to be strong all the time. It's not fair for yourself, and it's not fair for us. If you're laughing, we want to laugh with you. If you're crying, we want to share your tears. If you're in pain, we want to help you with that burden. There is no, "but i'm scared i'll be bothering you because you have your own problems" because we love you. I will stay up all night to talk you through whatever you're going through because I love you. So please, don't ever think you have to bear something on your own, alright?
Not sure why, but this always came out to my mind whenever my friends were going through something/ I was going through something and didn't want to bother them. Actually, one of my friends felt the same exact way I did and I told her what you said =)
2. So I can trust that He will take care of you in my absence, and I KNOW for sure that He'll do a much better job at it than I ever will because of the vast amount of love that He pours onto you.
I really kept that in mind this past year because I was reading something in this little devo notes thing about trusting God with everything, including the people you love. That proves an extremely difficult lesson, and I had to be reminded time and again. You were the first to say it to me though, so it stuck =p
3. I've wished, ever since tenth, eleventh grade, that no one would have to go through the same thing I did ... but here you are, going through it, and I've been begging God to let you off the hook, to somehow take it all away from you, but I know He knows you can get through it more refined and shining brighter than you did before this happened, so I'm holding onto that hope.
This really encouraged me- this was smack dab in the middle of the time when I felt completely and utterly alone though my spiritual growth told me otherwise. I was buying into being depressed and being alone and this really was a huge encouragement to know that one of my closest friends in life are begging God on my behalf, someone who's like an older sister to me still there for me and caring about me though we're miles and miles apart. Someone who was there to hold on to hope for me when I felt like I was lying still in a puddle of blood.
4. God loves you ... and if there is one place where I can say you belong, it's beside Him, and right next to me (muahaha. I claim you until your husband comes along to do that).
Because it made me laugh =)
5. Or sing out your lungs by some pond and scare all the fish away. Do it. If you don't belong anywhere with who you're hanging out with, might as well spend in with the God of the universe... take time to be still and to listen to Him. But don't give up on people either. As you rest in God, He will give you the energy to keep trudging onwards.
Madi, I know you're going to come out of this a billion times stronger and more mature than when you first went in. You're the type of person that doesn't give up, even if you get pushed over a million times and I admire that. Its hard ... but keep me posted. You're continually in my thoughts.
Well, the scaring the fish away part made me laugh too =) but it was just the reminder of spending time with God (something I'm lacking right now...). It reminded me of something David Shurr said wayyyy back I don't remember when. He was doing devos, I think, and he said to always pray. I remember he said, "PRAY WHEN YOU CHECK YOUR EMAIL!"

You've always been there for me; through thick and thin, you've been praying for me and encouraged me. I can't tell you how big of a blessing you are and that includes everything that's happened from 8th grade bball season onward. I've had a few "dynamic duos" but you're still my first and closest twin. Like how we didn't actually have to talk to communicate. Like how you could always put what I'm trying to say into words. Like how in tune we were, on the court, hanging out, texting, phone calls, online...it's so awesome to have a friend like that. Remember that letter you gave me before I left HK? I still pull that out and read it once in a while. Just long enough so that I forget what it says and then remember when I reread.

You are beautiful and amazing and so talented in so many ways. You're a true friend (and you won't get rid of me for the next 80 years or so...)

May God continue to use you for His kingdom and may you continue to follow after Him.