Time to revive =) haha I haven't blogged in a while. Wow...so many things have changed. I just reread my blog posts and relieved all that depression...but time passes and people change. People grow. I feel like I've grown the past couple of months. Not saying everything's all right now, but just that...I've learned. I've been really busy (though admittedly I've been slacking on devos =[ this is bad. I need to do devos; they're important).

Lesson one to surviving heartbreak is to depend on God. Every time. Yes, it feels lonely, yes, it's depressing, yes, you're going to cry x number of nights and yes, you're going to wish you were dead and believe me, there are days where I still feel like that too. You're going to feel so down that you'll think about doing stupid stuff like cutting and suiciding and trust me, I've been there too. But God will never let you down and He will never, ever forsake you. When you feel alone, just cry out to God. Just lay there and cry. Spend some time in His word, spend time outside and de-stress. Spend time with family, with friends.

Lesson two is to distract yourself. Last semester, my grades free-fell because I've been so distracted by depression and stupidity. I worked over summer, every day, and I've been so busy this past semester that I could rarely find time to focus on anything else. I hardly noticed the time passing; it felt like just last week that band camp ended. I have never been so busy in my life and I just didn't have time for much else outside of family, school, marching band, and God (ie, I didn't have time for a relationship or even to think about being in one). Just try not to stress out though. Distraction backfires when you're so overwhelmed you become depressed.

Lesson three is to not be stupid. Not all scars are visible; I work hard to make it so people can't see mine. Reason being that I do a crapton of sports; I play bball and I do marching band- for those of you who know me, you'll know that I roll my sleeves up. That means I can't have any visible marks on my arms and stuff or else people will know. I make it so that it's not obvious, but I can still do it at the same time. DON'T DO IT. What I did was stupid and an insult to God. There are other ways to work out your pain other than taking it out on and hurting yourself.

Lesson four is to know that there are people who love you. You are not alone. Family, friends. I know that my relationship with my family got muy bueno after the relationship because I wasn't so caught up in him anymore; I had more time to do things and to focus on more things (ex. my family). Friends are the family we choose for ourselves, and I'm so incredibly blessed to have this band (haha pun) of friends who love me so much. They may baby me sometimes, but they're still awesome =) so know that you're not alone.

Lesson five is to never give up. Keep smiling. Keep doing what you usually do, keep doing what you love to do and realize that things are going to change, that there's always a glimmer of hope, no matter how slight you think it is, in the distance. The Lord does what He does for the good of those who love Him and who else to look after His creation than their Creator? It's not just about surviving. It's about living.

Not to say your hard nights and weak moments are going to automatically disappear. It still hurts, even knowing all this and that's something that you can only wait out. You're human; you're not expected to be strong all the time. Family and true friends are always going to be there for you. Keep fighting, fighter. Things will get better. Everything will be okay. If it's not, it's not over yet.