I am trying to cradle you in my two hands, to see you for what you really are. To amplify the light that you want every other heart touched with, to help others see that light. To know what you have to offer to those outside of you, and to know how far and wide those things, however limited, can go. To know what lights and what shadows touch you, to see which ones stay and which ones last only a moment. To see all of the darkness inside, hidden as they are. Do not fear. Where there is light, there is shadow, unless it is pure light that envelopes everything around it. That you do not have. That you find somewhere else, in someone else's heart. Yes, His. That's His heart, the one that your rhythm is set to. Do you feel it?

 But also to see all the scars and places where pieces of you had been ripped off. To see all of the wounds you've sustained from battle, all of the places where you've been mercilessly broken, over and over and over and over again. To drink in each defeat and each victory, and to marvel at how you're still struggling to beat every day. Not every heart shines a light onto yours. Those are moments I want to cradle you in the cage inside my chest, to care for you.

And so, this is my advice to you- keep beating. Please. Don't let your tender heartstrings be broken. Don't stop beating. For as long as you do, there is a purpose. There is hope. Through the shadows other hearts may put you through where you can be stabbed, slashed, ripped apart again and again, ease your storm and listen, listen to that constant beating of His heart, and let that resonate through your being. Let that sound carry you true.

My love, you try so childishly to be like Him. And you do not always succeed. You put others through that same shadow at times. Do you feel it? Do you hear their hearts scream from your shadows? Do you carry scars from those screams? You should. Do you also feel that light that you've inherited, mercy and grace and love trying to shine onto others?

You know those screams, because you make them too. You hear them at night, and it drowns out that constant beat. You can feel yourself tiring, losing, shaking, crying as the screams rip through you in the shadows. You try, my love, you try, and sometimes, it may be the best thing to not always stand up to it. You have the emblem of bravery proudly etched on your chest, and so often, that is your downfall. Because you know you can survive whatever it is you're going through. You know that you will find a way to cope. Sometimes, you may cut off every emotion, every light, every darkness, to pull through. Is it worth it? Worth screaming so many times, worth standing up to the pain of being ripped apart because of your pride in your bravery?

When you turn away, when you walk away- it is not out of cruelty nor is it out of a lack of compassion. You must know. You must know that when you walk away, you are not shaming that insignia on your chest. You are not looking down in defeat. You are not leaving their hearts in the shadows. You are not covering the light you are trying to spread. You walk away because you hold these battle scars, and it is not a battle you can fight. You try your best, but the sword isn't in your hands. Your light must still shine on those hearts, but from a different angle.

My dear, now is not the time to turn away. Now is not the time to walk away. You must hear the sound of the shadows swiftly approaching, to hear the impending screams you know will be torn from you when they reach you. You know what happens next, every time. Now is the time to run.