Reading does miracles for your trains of thought. Mainly those running on completely different schedules with time delays and rough weather.

Lately, I've been so busy that I haven't had much time for anything else. I've been distracted and stressed and tired and scared all at once because of everything that had been thrown, and continually being thrown, at my face.

I was trying to think the other day...why should I keep fighting? Why can't I find the easy way out of difficult situations and loopholes around the toughest people? Why did I have to stay and fight, why did I have to be stubborn and not hand myself over to the dark?

I realized, I finally realized that I fight because of hope. I fight for hope. I have loved deeply, and have losses that I could never begin to grieve for- "We are left with that one footprint, evidence enough that they were there, but never being able to fill the hole that follows after."

I fight that maybe someday, I can say, "hey, long time no see."