How did we end up the way we are now?

My life is not perfect. It's normal. It's good. I am learning so many new things. New...unfamiliar things. Things that make me want to run back to the past to places and things I know because I'm scared. But I can't, because the past doesn't exist, and this is my present and future. Because I know my life now is happier than it's been in such a long time, and that I can finally rest after fighting for so long. For a little while, at least. I'm happy with my life now. Happy and scared, but only scared of the unexplored places, the hidden obstacles. Scared because everything with him is so new. But I know he's scared too. He's scared, but he's excited, and he will not let the past hold us back. I guess that's something I'm starting to learn from him.

It's almost funny...I can't even clearly remember your voice anymore. I remember your laughs though. And the way your eyes crinkle and you throw your head back. Maybe that's good. Remember the happiness. Again, laying flowers on a grave, because I'm never going to see you again.